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Jonas:  Daddy, don’t smack my booty!
Daddy:  I’m not going to smack your booty.
Jonas sticks out his naked butt towards daddy while he’s drying him off from bath.
Jonas:  Daddy, don’t smack my booty!
Daddy:  I will smack your booty if you stick it out at me!
Jonas:  No!!!!!

While I was folding laundry, I heard this following exchange:

Sean:  No mei!  That’s not appropriate.
Karis laughs.  Then she giggles.
Sean:  Mei!  Stop it!
More giggling.
Sean:  Mom!  Karis is hitting my penis!  She’s not supposed to do that, and I think she’s doing it on purpose.

It made me laugh.  But, here are a few points that I’m quite proud of:

1)  Sean did not hit his sister or get mad at her.
2)  Sean knew that touching penises was inappropriate.
3)  Sean told me about it.

I accidentally found something that made Karis laugh.

Then, I remembered a video of Sean laughing at the same thing.

It’s crazy how similar they both sound!  They are definitely siblings!

Let me start off by saying this post might be too much information for some people’s liking.  If this is the case, please do not read any further!

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Alright, for the rest of you that are still reading I’ll continue.  Yesterday, I had a quick surgery at the doctor’s office to get a hemorrhoid removed, one that I received birthing my beloved Sean.  The boys came home after their swim lessons, and my husband told them to be gentle with me since I just had surgery.  Sean came over and was a little concerned.  Here are snippet of our conversation that I put together:

Sean:  Mommy, where’s your owie?
Me:  On my butt.
Sean:  What did the doctor do?  Give you a shot?
Me:  No, he cut off my hemorrhoid.
Sean:  What’s that?
Me:  It’s like a bubble.

Sean:  Tell me more about the bubble.
Me:  What do you want to know?
Sean:  How did you get it?
Me:  I got it when I gave birth to you.
Sean:  When I came out of your mouth?*
Me:  No, you didn’t come out of my mouth.
Sean:  Where did I come out from?
Me:  Down by my bottom.
Sean:  How?
Me:  There’s a hole between where the poop comes out and the pee comes out for a girl; that’s where babies come out.
Sean:  Oh.

Sean:  Do just girls get the bubbles?
Me:  No, anyone can get the bubbles.
Sean:  Why?
Me:  Well, sometimes if you have to push hard for a poop, you can get it.
Sean looks a little concerned/horrified.
Sean:  But I don’t want to get a bubble!
Me:  You won’t get it right now.  Your poop comes out pretty easy.  We make sure you eat a lot of fruits and veggies.
Sean (looking less concerned):  But sometimes, it takes me FIVE WHOLE MINUTES to push the poop out!
Me:  Oh, that happens, and that’s ok.  Just ast long as it’s not all the time.  It doesn’t happen all the time with you.

And there you have it folks – explaining what a hemorrhoid is and how you get it, and where babies come out of.  Not the conversation that I’d picture having with my five year old, ever.  🙂

* Sean seems to think that babies come out of mouths.  When he saw me pregnant with Jonas and Karis, he knew that babies were in the belly.  He got the stomach flu one time, and I guess he associated the baby coming out of the mouth like throw up comes out of the mouth when you’re sick.  It makes sense – both things come “out” of the belly.

I found a blog via one of my friends on Facebook about life through a baby/toddler’s eyes.  I read a few posts, and I thought they were pretty funny – things that a toddler does that drives a parent nuts, but explaining it from the child’s point of view. I started reading more and more posts.  After awhile, the posts started rubbing me the wrong way.  They were funny, but there was an edge to it.  It was almost like a passive-aggressive way of posting the discontentment of the parents’ life online.

With that being said, I hope that this blog isn’t passive aggressive about my life.  I love staying at home with my children.  There are both positive and negative things that happen in our lives, but I hope for the most part, you are able to see that even through the negative, I love my children and my life.

In ending, I’ll share with you something that happened yesterday that was abysmal, funny, a moment of pride, and a slice of what my life does look like.  I was preparing dinner last night, and I thought I’d put the dipping sauce for the dumplings and cherries on the table. The boys and Karis were playing so nicely, so I thought I was getting ahead.  Suddenly, I hear Sean saying, “She’s got cherries”.  I figured she found a dried cherry on the floor and was eating it.  No big deal.  Sean told me again.  Finally, I peek into the dining room.  It was like my eyes could not comprehend what was happening.  Karis was sitting on the table with a first full of cherries and cherry juice dripping from her mouth – it looked like she was a little vampire that had just fed.  She was dancing on her knees in a puddle of dumpling sauce, and there were half eaten cherries strewn across the table, some mixed in the sauce.  My first thought was, “What?  I guess she can climb on the table now”.  I proceeded to enter mommy-cleaning mode and cleaned up the mess while Sean was saying, “Uh oh, mei mei, you made a big mess!”.

On this episode of “Kids Say the Darndest Things”:  The Difference Between Girls and Boys.

Boys are watching daddy change Karis’ diaper.

Boy 1:  Karis doesn’t have a penis!
Daddy:  No, she doesn’t.  She’s a girl.
Boy 2:  I have a penis and you (pointing to their brother) have a penis.  How come mommy doesn’t have a penis?
Daddy:  Mommy doesn’t have one because she’s a girl.

There you have it, explaining gender to our children.  Good night everyone!

I put down Karis for her morning nap this morning.  I started to do some chores and I heard crying.  It wasn’t a normal protest cry, so I got some ibuprofen ready in case it was because her teeth were coming in (molar + a front tooth).  I walked into Karis and what did I see?  I saw her standing up holding onto the rail for dear life.  She was freaking out.  Here eyes were in a panic.  She didn’t know how to get down.  I lowered her down and laid her on her back again.  She rolled over inserted her thumb in her mouth and calmed herself down.  I think she was saying, “Thank you sweet Jesus for getting me back down.  Mattress, I will never leave you or forsake you.  I love you.  We are not going through that again.”  Let us hope, let us hope (at least until she figures out how to get herself back down).

Scene:  The T family are sitting down to a lovely dinner.  I get up to turn on the fan*.  I sit down and continue our lovely dinner – adult conversation interspersed with children’s requests for more food, drink, etc.  Suddenly, one of our children (who will remain nameless), nonchalantly gets up out of their chair with a chopstick in hand.  We continue eating, figuring said child was going to adjust the fan and come back to eat.  Instead, they walk over to the fan and takes the chopstick and stabs at the fan; it looks like they were trying to stab someone’s eye out, except it was the fan.  The chopstick passes through the holes and hits the blades.  The blades start thudding against the chopstick, which sounds like a saw cutting through wood.  Husband runs over to the fan and looks at the child:  

Husband:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  YOU DO NOT STAB THE FAN WITH A CHOPSTICK! Go to timeout.

Husband returns to the table and looks at me.  I am trying my darnest not to laugh.  Husband raises his eyebrows with the look of “What were they thinking?”  Husband, after the anger and shock passes, tries not to laugh.  Said child comes out of timeout without showing any signs of guilt.  We tell said child that we don’t poke things through the fan because it’s dangerous.  Said child nods, and then returns to eating as if nothing happened.  Fin.

*  The dining room is the hottest room in the house – poor circulation.  It was also over 90+ degrees last week when this all happened, so it was exceptionally hot in that room.

Scene:  I enter the kitchen looking for everyone after doing setup at church with the boys.  I see the contents of the recycle bin scattered all over the place.  Not anything new given Karis’ new crawling abilities.  I look over by the pantry shelves, and I see the brown sugar, corn meal container, and other things on the floor.  The second shelf is almost empty.  Interesting.

Me:  Hon?  
Husband:  Yeah?
Me:  What happened here?
Husband:  Well, Karis was crawling around and playing with the recycle bin while I was making pancakes.  I turn around, and I see her pull herself up to standing on the shelves.  I was so proud that she pulled herself up that I let her go at it.

What a great dad. 🙂  Karis has been pulling herself occasionally since we started physical therapy almost two weeks ago.  It takes the proper motivation for her to do it though. 🙂

Some excerpts from the boys.

Me:  What’s your name Jonas?
Jonas (with a huge grin!):  Dee dee!  [Dee dee means little brother in Chinese].

Sean:  Mom, can you make a playdate with Miss Jessie?  I love playing at her house.  Last time we went, she made cookies.  They were mmm mmmmm good! 🙂

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