I am a hypochondriac.  When I was in high school, a friend told me the symptoms of meningitis.  I had a really bad headache a few days later, and I swore I must have had meningitis.  This is just to give you a picture of my neurosis.

Now that you have an idea of my condition, picture me in this scenario with children.  Most of the time, I don’t worry that I or the kids have some disease that is going to flare it’s ugly head.  It’s when I hear that one of my friends has a sick child that I start getting anxious or if one of my kids gets sick.  If it’s just a cold, I don’t worry about it too much since Sean and Jonas handle colds very well – they don’t act like they have a cold, though they have the symptoms of a cold.  When Karis was younger, I got more stressed about her getting a cold mostly because I hated not knowing what to do in the middle of the night if she woke up with regards to nursing her and how long I should let her cry for.  Fortunately, I know that if she wakes up in the middle of the night, I try to make her as comfortable as I can, but I don’t feel as bad about leaving her in her bed after I’ve done the best that I can.

Anyways, the reason for this post is Karis is getting over a cold, and now she’s had this skin issue.  It started on her shoulder, and I thought it was a bug bite, and not a big deal.  She then got one next to her mouth, which again, I assumed it was just a bug bite or something that wasn’t a big deal.  Yesterday, I noticed it was spreading to different areas.  Let me take some time out and say I hate skin issues.  It grosses me out.  I told my husband tonight that I hated feeling the bumpiness of her skin when I gave her her bath.  I also hate look at the redness of her bumps. It bothers me and makes my skin feel itchy and bumpy.  It doesn’t , however, bother Karis at all; she’s happy as a clam.  Actually, none of Karis’ illnesses ever seem to bother her, even when she had bronciolitis.  Sorry, I digress.  I took her to Convenient Care this morning, and the nurse practitioner said it was flair ups of eczema and a mild case of impetigo.  She prescribed some topical antibiotics, and I started treatment.  This afternoon, I noticed it spreading some more.  Then I started to feel stress.  Stressed enough to take her to the doctor tomorrow again.

I’ve had a few mild breakdowns this weekend because of Karis and her skin.  My husband asked me a poignant question, “Why do you stress out so much when our kids get sick?”  I don’t like my sleep getting disrupted and having to get up in the middle of the night.  I know it doesn’t last forever, but part of me fears that the kids won’t get back on schedule with their sleep again.  I feel guilty when my kids get sick, especially with something that I’ve never seen before or something that really makes them feel miserable.  I feel like I’ve been a bad mom and that I should have done something to prevent them from getting sick.  The reality is that I have three kids, and I can’t quarantine them all the time.  I know this, and I know that they’ll get sick.  I know that I’m not knowingly putting them in situations where they are exposed to some really bad illness.  I know this, but yet, I feel guilty.  I also feel guilty when my kids have exposed their illness to other kids.  I know that other moms don’t blame me for their kids getting sick because I didn’t know, but I still feel bad.  I also worry, being the hypochondriac that I am, that the kids sickness will spread to everyone.  I don’t like dealing with sickness, especially when it’s going to last awhile in our house.  But, all in all, I know everyone will feel better and that the sickness will end.  I know this, but I still feel stressed.  Sigh.